Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The big five O

Hello kitchen counter, it's me again. Your old friend, most trusted advisor, a shoulder to lean on, an ear to talk to, a hand to hold and support for your psyche. I'm just writing this to remind you that I'm still here whenever you need me. Those other people out there, they're not my real friends. Sure the play nice, have sincere smiles and firm handshakes but they don't mean it. They never did. As soon as you're out of the room the chatter starts, the eyes dart around the room, rumors are whispered in code, lies are spread in tongues. Nobody else here likes you, nobody else here needs you, nobody else here wants you. Nobody. Does it depress you to finally realize how alone you actually are? Does it hit you like a ton of bricks? Is it that sinking feeling in your stomach, or the pain in the back of your head? Its the smell of a cold room, and the feeling of even colder sheets. No one to kiss you goodnight, not one to wake up to. They don't want you, they don't need you. They never did, and they never will. You might think I'm crazy, talking to kitchen counters like this.  The truth is I need you just like you need me.No one is ever going to want us, no one is ever going to need us, no one is ever going to like us. Only you for me and me for you. Us. For an entire miserable eternity.

These lonely nights are getting to me. I count the hours, the minutes, the seconds, and how many times I blink in a day. I pray for clouds to lift, day to break, and a smile to return to my face.
"they keep calling me" 

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