Thursday, December 11, 2008

Twenty three. safety net

I have been inside for far too many nights, and if I don't leave the house soon I'm afraid I never will. My safety net, my band, my best friends are out doing fun things with each other. I'm the one that is never called because I have work and they figure I'll be too tired. I still wish I would have the option to say no or yes.
My ability to feel young and care free is dwindling with each minute and I just feel that in order for me to keep what shed of mental stability I have left  I need to hang out with them on some kind of daily basis.  I feel like I'm losing touch, and turning into something obsolete as far as friendship goes. Someone they don't need or want around and I don't want to become anything that closely resembles that description.

If that happens then I have nothing, and although I may act like like I want nothing it's simply not true. I want and need that safety net they so excellently provide for me and my stupid brain

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