92. She's a Waterfall

The future's forgotten darlings, empty pockets and all.
Standing at the foot of the bed, I watched you.
Studying your every last move, the way your nose crinkles, how your hair falls, the way your chest rises.
Empty pockets and all.
You're my home now, twisted in bedclothed disarray.
Empty pockets and all.

91. Lusting for wander

Miserable midnights, laced with a longing for passion.
Spoon fed stories, poisoned by predictable tongues.
The silence speaks, much more than you.
The truth leaks, far less than your fiction.
Leave silently.
No goodbyes,
less than necessary.
Forever forward,
blame the backward.
Curse the stagnant,
embrace the desire.

90. it's all that I have

Blue moonlight.
I spend my weekends watching the sun come up, and never stepping outside until early morning. When its dark. Plastic room keys, stale sheets, bitter tea from paper cups. Offensively friendly hotel staff. Who's gonna cut me down to a size that suits me? This life takes too long, I spend it driving 5.3 miles to a prison, from a prison. Peering into windows with the lights on, hoping praying to see some kind of movement, a flicker of life a 25 miles per hour. I can't cry right. I don't know where this is leading me, I don't know if I want it to lead me anywhere. There's a taste in my mouth that isn't reminiscent of a passion or joy. Its more of a longing, a desperation. I'm dying slowly to live slower. Emergence from a shell, so to speak; speaking softly.
Foul weather friend I'm tired of blaming everyone else. I'm too tired for everything.

89. nothing

on and off the wagon.
in and out of phases.
on and off the track.
in and out of sleep.
on and off the fence
in and out of my mind.
need to.
want to.
have to.
must do "the right thing"

88. Desensitized

Malignant & Malicious.
Unforgiving and unnerving, much like cancer.
Turned off by emotion, switched on by negligence.
Thinking hurts.
Complaining annoys.
Silence is golden.

87. Call your bluff, get away.

Minutes blend,
days pass.
Nights are unable to mend,
"I've got some bad ideas and too much time to use them".
Days blend,
months pass through me.
Old,
enough to know better.
Dumb,
enough to forget.
Angry,
enough to never forgive.

86. Terminal B

Absolutely
Bored
Considering
Details.
Everything
Fails
Grievously.
Handling
Insipid
Judgement
Kindly.
Loving
Madly.
Negating
Opinionated
Promises.
Questioning
Ravenous
Sincerity.
Touching
Wildly.
Xenophillicly
Yammering
Zealously.

Topics as of late are concentrated solely on love, or the lack there of.
Is it because I want it that way? Am I too picky? Is no one paying attention? Am I that unlovable?
You don't have to tell me.
It's one degree of extreme, or the other.
I'm in my room from 5 pm on,
or out with people until three am.
There's no significant changes occurring inside of me.
I simply float.
I don't feel as hyper talented or likable as everyone seems to think I am.
I don't feel anything but empty.
You must be such a fool to pass me by.